A couple of years ago, Ritalin Girl was at Waterloo train station on route to catch up with a friend. Out of nowhere a guy came up to her as she was walking and asked for her number. She was impressed by the confidence and gave it to him.

We’re going to refer to this fella as AC. A because his name began with the letter A and C because he turned out to be a bit of a controlling chauvinist.

Back to the story. They began texting and arranged a date. They seemed to get on like a house on fire and on the second date, AC started teaching Ritalin Girl some Albanian, his native language.

On the third date, AC invited Ritalin Girl over for dinner and promised to cook for her. He cooked salmon and rice, and made a salad. “I eat this dish every day” he said to her matter-of-factly. Dessert was fruit salad. “I have this for dessert every day too”, he said. There was no alcoholic beverages as AC was a teetotaller. Health freak mucho.

Over dinner, Ritalin Girl asked him if he had a type, what kind of women he liked. AC replied that he liked his women submissive. “This isn’t going to go much further” she thought.

After dinner, she thought she should make an excuse to leave but didn’t want to seem rude. With no alcohol in her system, things started to escalate. First AC turned the fruit salad into some kinky kissing game. We’re sure you know the one.

Then he lay on top of her and started grounding her into the sofa as if he was trying to crush her through dry humping. Then his tongue came out and slithered down inside her mouth as if he was trying to suffocate her too.

Suddenly they were in the bedroom where he had a landscape mirror by the bed on the wall. “Watch yourself getting f*****” he said gruesomely.

Three minutes later the whole thing was over and he lay there panting like a dog that had just sprinted a mile.

Ritalin Girl got dressed and left. Needless to say, they never saw each other again.

Photo by Crystal Jo on Unsplash