When she lost her job back in February this year (2024), Ritalin Girl tried her best not to waste any time feeling sorry for herself. She soon landed herself an interview for an Events Coordinator role.

 

She hadn’t worked in events before but she thought it sounded like a good option because of the fast-pace and because those with ADHD apparently thrive in a bit of a crisis.

 

On the day of the interview she did her make up and wore a smart coat so that she looked polished. She drove to the venue. A fancy hotel set in the Surrey countryside. Very plush.

 

She arrived early and waited in one of the lounge areas for her interviewer to call her in. Unfortunately once the interview started things started to go south pretty quickly.

 

“You’ve moved about quite a bit” observed the interviewer disdainfully, “are you ready to settle down now?” She should’ve had a feisty comeback but instead Ritalin Girl just replied meekly with “Yes”.

 

“Do you have any sales experience?” Asked the interviewer. “No” she replied. “And have you worked in events before?” she asked. "Did the interviewer not bother to read my CV beforehand" she thought to herself.

 

Soon the interview came to a natural close and  she began to get up, tripping over a chair leg and falling over as she did so. Smooth, real smooth. She definitely had dyspraxia too, she thought.

 

Ritalin Girl made her way back to the car and took a few moments before driving off. Her confidence was bruised. Why did she never feel good enough?

 

She drove off but her attention was elsewhere. She kept replaying parts of the interview in her head. Driving down a narrow road with cars parked on either side she suddenly heard a deafening bang. Her side mirror had collided with the side mirror of a parked car. A momentary car kiss if you like. And the cover had come flying off. Did she notice? Of course not. Ritalin Girl is not particularly observant when she’s wrapped up in her own little world, momentarily daydreaming.

 

She now had to call up parts service and confess to having errr “somehow lost her left side mirror cover”. But what did it matter. Ritalin Girl could play ditzy or clueless. Over many years, she had honed her act. From getting fired from her first waitressing job at university to cycling into a stationary car "because the sun was so blinding". It came naturally.