About a year ago, Ritalin Girl had got to a point in life where she was feeling quite secure. She was fully medicated for both ADHD and bipolar. She had been in a stable job for some time and had recently passed her driving which was her gateway to freedom. The only thing missing from her life was a fella, so she decided to start looking for one.

She curated her small gallery of photos. Alternating group photos with selfies. One with cleavage. They say men are visual creatures. So are women too but hey, a good old double standard.

Should she put what she was looking for, her dating intentions? Or should she keep things mysterious? Open to interpretation perhaps.

She started swiping… Right. Left. Right. Left. It was like a game. Topless men. Bald men. Big men. Little men. Hench men. Chubby men. A whole new world at her fingertips.

She met an interesting array of characters. Men who asked for sexy pictures. Men who added on 2 - 5 inches when quoting how tall they were. Men who questioned if she was a real person because she didn’t have an Instagram account.

Conversation flowed in a predictable pattern. “What’s your go to drink”. “Are you close with your family?” “What are your hobbies?” Some conversation dried out like a stale biscuit.

She met a man called Stuart. Because he had the name of a 50 year old geezer Ritalin Girl thought he’d be an old school traditional bloke. That is until he started telling her all the kink he was into. Anal, rimming, deepthroat, eating pussy, spit… you get the picture. He was all dirty talk and no sauce however. They never hooked up.

She briefly dated a man called Farzad which reminded her of Lord Farquaad from Shrek. In the end she decided Lord Farquaad was too old for her.

Ritalin Girl learnt things about herself too. For example she realised she preferred morning sex to night time sex. With the medication fresh in her system, she was able to be more present in her body and enjoy the experience more. She was more likely to lose her focus and not be able to relax into the moment once the medication had left her system. Typical ADHD problems.