Dating with a disorganised attachment style is a constant battle for equilibrium. It involves a combination of both the anxious and avoidant attachment styles.

Growing up Ritalin Girl had an unpredictable relationship with her father. He'd swing between episodes of blind rage, emotional distance and being dotingly loving. She never knew what to expect. There was no rhyme or reason to it. She felt like she had to walk on eggshells. When he was loving she felt she couldn’t trust it, that any minute he was going to switch. When he was emotionally distant she felt rejected. And when he was red hot with anger she felt low key scared. Hell, she even has one memory of being chased round the house with a kitchen knife. Despite by all outward appearances being a normal happy family.

Dating with a disorganised attachment style, both distance and proximity feel threatening. But at the same time there’s a desire for relationships and connection so the discomfort can’t be avoided, only endured. The push pull cycle seems to take hold. I need you near enough to feel loved but just distant enough to feel safe too.

Both sides of the mix have their own triggers. For the avoidant side of the attachment scale it could be triggered by someone who is too needy or is a double texter. For the anxious side of the scale dating someone with avoidant tendencies is kryptonite. Either way lots of relationships have been ended prematurely because of Ritalin Girl’s dysfunctional attachment style. Love is never straightforward.